Photo courtesy of http://www.csideaworks.com/new_images/progress.gif.
When I think of Moving & Shaking Beyonce comes to my mind. Although, I am not moving & shaking as much or as well as she can. As a matter, of fact if I moved that fast I could possibly break some parts of my body we don't even want to mention. Nevertheless, I am a Work in Progress & quite slowly I might add. You would think that because this class is all about you; one would want or be eager to move & shake to get things done or get their lives in the order in which they are trying to achieve. This one hour workshop has given more anxieties than I care to have. It makes me wonder is this really what I want, can I possibly be any good @this, or am I just kidding myself.
Barbara Sher is right on it (Let Them be Mad). My husband made a statement to me that has really stuck to me. I am going to share it because for one it really bothered me. He knows my dreams & aspirations & I have shared with him my teaching workshop that's coming up very quickly & I will be observing this Saturday @the program. Unfortunately, I let this statement bother me so much that it has raised doubts about the path I trying to pursue. So, here it is: He told me I was acting STUCK UP, and I didn't care about anyone but myself. Hum imagine that! I know you are saying so that's not so bad.
Well it is, Where did that come from & what the h... does that mean. We have been married for over 20 years & I have been knowing him for over another 20 years. So, I ask how can I possibly be acting stuck up. Because maybe I'm trying to make a better life for us & our children. Is it because I'm not asking his permission to move ahead with my dreams? Is it because he feels afraid, scared, or even threatened which he will never admit to?
How can I possibly be acting this way for something I don't even have (yet). So,I am even more determine to finish it's been to long & I am looking ahead for not just me but my family. I don't think that's selfish. It has bothered me so much I have not registered for classes next semester, and I feel even more afraid to stand in front of those student than I did before. I was just overcoming that fear when this was placed upon me.
So, I can tell you that the second step I didn't do because I'm working through the First step. Maybe later this week I can have that system in place but today it's not there.
Sorry.........................
First, I like your background color!!! Its pink and cute! Second, I just read an article in Cosmo about sharing goals and aspirations with people we love. It said that sharing your goals with people especially the ones you love, can bring you down because they place their OWN BIASES into YOUR SITUATION. I find this true. For example, I told my boyfriend I want to lose weight, he laughed and said your not fat. I laughed and said I have gained 30 pounds just being with you! I have now secretly started losing weight and havent told anyone(except now)The idea is to have people thinking and guessing. People will see the end result and for now your goal is your own mini secret exploration. I understand thats your hubby and you should be able to confide in him and receive wonderful feedback!!! Sometimes it doesnt work like that! You know that you want to improve your life, kids, and husbands life, let your goals first help YOU, because in the end you need to be happy to share your happiness with others!!! You have given me great advice and its helped to start Moving and Shaking again!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that there's been resistance on the home front and I'm glad that we are reading the "don't do it yourself" chapter while you're having it. At least you know that it's not uncommon when changes start to happen for people to be resistant to that change. I've even been that resistant person!!!
ReplyDeleteAt one point my husband didn't work for about two years. During that time, he did everything around the house (and I mean EVERYTHING). I got used to not doing anything so when he told me he wanted to start a business, I literally blurted out "You can't do that! Who will cook and clean for us!?" All I could think about in the moment was that I didn't want things to change because I liked the way things were. He definitely just let me be mad and went on about his business. Well, things changed quickly and his enjoyment of his new work made him a more interesting, engaged and joyful person and that made everyone's life better. Thank goodness he didn't listen to me!!!!
First, Pinky I would love to read that article it seems very interesting. And it's not about you being fat it's about you being comfortable with who you are in your body. I am also, trying to lose weight but it seems no matter how hard I work out the less weight I lose. I've change my eating habits; but I still have not gotten in results. Just like you said "let my goals first help ME" than I can begin to help others. It's like being on an airplane & the first thing they tell you to do is put the mask on your face first, then help others. That's not being selfish or thinking of yourself first. It's about, You can't help others unless you help you first.
ReplyDeleteSecond, you're right Dr. Rock I think my husband sees a change in the household. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. I can no longer do it all & he has had to chip in more this year than he ever has. Going to meetings with teachers, report card pick-up, and taking the boys everywhere. Even going to 2 football games in one day. So, he's feeling overwhelm lately & I always feel that way. He actually started a Fathers Who Care organzation which I was elated about. He has never done that before! It made me feel good that he wanted to start that & run for a seat on the LSC (Local School Council). I want to contuine to motivate & inspire him to contuine & take it to new heights.